Ready To Love Again Read online

  He gave a curt nod and continued to stare out the window. The leather couch squeaked, and he watched her reflection in the glass while she came up behind him.

  “I know you’re feeling guilty, but you have to know it’s okay to move on. Right?”

  Chase turned and looked at her when he spoke. “Of course, I know that. Terri told me—” His voice broke, and he coughed to cover his pain. Pushing down his emotions, he waited a moment until he knew he could speak without his voice cracking. “She told me she wanted me to be happy,” he whispered, looking down at his shoes, “but I can’t just forget what she meant to me.”

  “Chase, just because you move on doesn’t mean you stop loving her. It’s okay to find love again. Terri will always hold a piece of your heart—she’s the mother of your children—but that doesn’t mean you have to be lonely for the rest of your life.”

  Gina pulled him into a hug. Stepping back again, she gave him a brilliant smile.

  “You know, I think Terri would have loved Katie,” she said with a tear in her eye. She kissed his cheek before she started back toward her room. “Chase?” Gina turned around and caught his eye. “Liz wasn’t very happy about your date this evening. She was pretty mean to Shawn, but I think that might be because he and Tony were caught reading her diary.”

  Chase cringed, knowing they had to have gotten her full wrath. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow.”

  He grabbed his jacket and went out the back door, following the stairs down to the beach. The crisp air had a sting to it, and the breeze whipped at his hair. Chase bundled his coat closer and walked down to the water’s edge. The fog was low and danced across the waves, and there was a magical current in the air. He stood there for a long time, feeling the effects of the cold on his nose and ears.

  Chase couldn’t bring himself to talk to Terri as he had in the past. This time was different. He’d made up his mind, and it was too hard to think about her while he did the one thing he hadn’t in over thirteen years. With little ceremony, he took off his wedding ring and held it in the palm of his hand.

  “I love you,” he whispered before turning back to the house.

  ~*~

  The morning was pure chaos. Tony and Shawn terrorized Liz until she screamed and threw books at them to get them out of her room. Chase intervened and put both boys to work helping Gina get all the supplies together for the opening day carnival, then he slipped inside Liz’s room and found her going through one of the scrapbooks her grandmother had made for her.

  “Honey, are you okay?” He sat on the edge of her bed and pushed the hair off her shoulder. She looked up at him, and there were tears in her eyes.

  “I miss Mom,” she whispered.

  “I know, sweetheart. I do, too.”

  A strong look of defiance flashed across her delicate features. “Then why did you go out with Shawn’s mom last night?”

  Chase could hear the anger in her voice, but underneath was a hint of hurt and betrayal. He didn’t know what to say to her.

  Not being the most patient child, she didn’t wait for his answer anyway. “You should have told me. Instead, I heard it from that bratty little boy.” Liz slammed the scrapbook closed and tossed it on the floor. “He read my diary!”

  “I’m sorry. I’ll talk with the boys about respecting your privacy. I should have said something about the date, but—” Chase began before she cut him off with her own insight into the situation.

  “No, you shouldn’t have gone at all. Don’t you love Mom?”

  Her question ripped at his heart, and for a stunned moment, he was silent. Then the anger he often managed to hold in erupted.

  “I told you not to ever question my love for your mother,” Chase said, seething. “I’ve struggled for the last three years to deal with her death, and all I’ve ever done is love her. It wasn’t my fault she died. I did everything I could to save her life!” His voice rose with each sentence. “There wasn’t anything I could’ve done to prevent it. You need to come to terms with the truth.”

  Chase felt a hand on his arm, and he jerked away, turning to find Gina, her eyes wide. He realized he’d screwed up when he turned back to Liz and saw the tears streaming down her face.

  “I’m so sorry, Liz.” He reached for her, but she pulled away. Gina nodded toward the door, telling him without words to let her handle the situation. He stood up and left, leaving his baby because he didn’t know what else to do—again.

  Chase made his way to the living room and sank down on the couch, burying his head in his hands. Even though Liz needed to understand what he’d told her, he should never have raised his voice and dismissed her fears. She had lost her mother, and in her mind, she was soon going to lose Gina to Daniel. It was natural for her to worry that her dad might be the next to leave since his attention was distracted by Katie.

  He wondered if he should end what was going on with Katie before it could get any more serious, but that thought didn’t sit well with him either. She was the first person he’d felt even the slightest bit attracted to since Terri.

  The boys came crashing through the kitchen, and he knew he needed to get them under control before they destroyed the house. “Come in here for a minute, guys. I have something to talk to you both about.”

  Shawn and Tony plopped down on the couch beside him. “What’s up, Dad?” Tony asked, shoving the last apple slice in his mouth.

  “Gina told me you guys were reading Liz’s diary last night and she got pretty mad.”

  Shawn and Tony lowered their eyes and began to fidget when they realized they were in trouble. After a moment, Tony looked up. “We told her we were sorry.”

  “After Gina made you apologize?” Chase asked.

  “Well, yeah, but we didn’t think she’d get so mad.”

  “Really?” Chase asked with an incredulous tone. “How many times has she asked you to stay out of her room?”

  Tony shrugged and lowered his eyes again. “She doesn’t ever ask. She screams.”

  Chase let his head drop back to the headrest and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Tony was right, but that didn’t give them the right to invade her privacy. “I need you two to stay out of Liz’s room and respect her privacy. It would be like her coming in your room and rearranging all your baseball cards,” Chase said, looking directly at Tony. “You wouldn’t like that, would you?”

  Shawn looked up. “I wouldn’t want her to let out all my pets in my room, Coach. That would make me pretty mad.”

  Chase nodded, glad that they seemed to understand. “Good. So let’s have a good day and try to stay out of Liz’s hair. Okay?” Both boys nodded in acknowledgment as Gina came down the stairs.

  She had a somber look, letting Chase know by her expression that they needed to talk later. Liz followed her and stood in the doorway, scowling at Shawn. She gave Chase a sheepish look before bowing her head in compliance.

  Gina asked, “Can we take your car? I’m going to drive home with Daniel after the carnival.”

  Chase agreed, and they all piled into his crammed car, arriving at the ballpark in a flurry of action. Daniel was already backing up the huge industrial-sized barbecue he’d brought from one of his restaurant’s catering services. Shawn and Tony took off in one direction, while Liz ran over to one of the coaches’ daughters she knew from school.

  “How bad is it?” Chase asked Gina when they went to help Daniel with the barbecue.

  “She doesn’t like the idea of you dating. I think she’ll come around, but you need to keep it together. Your little outburst didn’t help.”

  “I know. Thanks, Gina.”

  He pulled her into a hug, and she wrapped her arms around him, giggling into his shirt.

  “Look who’s here,” Gina sang. She pulled away, and they turned to watch Katie walk toward them. “Yay! You’re here. We have so much to do.” She grabbed Katie’s hand and dragged her over to the table Daniel had set up. Katie looked over her shoulder and mouthed a small “hi” to Chase be
fore Gina forced her into servitude.

  “Chase!” Daniel’s booming voice brought him out of his daze. “Stop ogling the hot chick and get over here. I need help securing this before we get it lit.”

  Chase ignored his comment about Katie and helped pull the barbecue to where the girls were setting up the rest of their booth. He secured the brake before he took another quick glance at Katie. She was laughing at something Gina said, and Chase found himself smiling along with her.

  “How did your date go last night?” Daniel asked.

  “It was nice.”

  “Did you stay at her place?”

  It shouldn’t have surprised him that Daniel would jump to that assumption, but he wouldn’t justify his question with an answer.

  “I’ll take that as a no,” Daniel grumbled.

  Chase ignored his friend and looked over at Katie as she bit her lip, trying to figure out how to set up the canopy. Gina had drifted to the next booth to talk with one of the coaches’ wives, so he went over to offer Katie a hand.

  “Here, let me help with that.” He took one end and showed her how to pull the canopy apart until it was erect. They stood so close that their hands brushed against each other. Chase didn’t think before he took hold of her fingers and brought them to his lips, kissing the back of her hand.

  “I had a really nice time last night,” he said.

  Katie leaned into him when their eyes met, and the urge to kiss her returned. His eyes drifted to her lips, and he felt himself moving forward.

  Chase recognized the longing in her eyes, and something inside him screamed for him to stop. He cleared his throat and pulled away, dropping her hand and leaving a space between them. Katie let out a shaky breath and gave him a tentative smile.

  “Chase!”

  He jumped back and turned to see disappointment in his sister’s eyes. She had seen the whole exchange, and he felt like a fool for letting things with Katie happen out in the open.

  “Yes, Gina?”

  “Can you and Katie go get the rest of the paper plates and cups out of the car?” The tone of her voice left no room for argument yet was a little too sweet.

  He gave her a questioning look, and she winked at him. “Sure thing, sis.”

  Katie walked beside him, her hands shoved in her back pockets while they weaved around the booths and bounce houses. When she stopped, it surprised him, but not as much as when she stepped so close that he could smell the fresh scent of her hair.

  “Do you want to kiss me?”

  “Uh . . . w-what?” Chase stuttered for a moment. His eyes darted around, looking for an escape route.

  “I could have sworn last night that you were going to kiss me good night, but the next thing I knew you were in your car, pulling out of my driveway. Then, just a minute ago, I thought you were going to do it again.”

  She looked flustered. The slow rise of her chest and the determination Chase saw in her eyes brought on the desire to kiss her again. This time, he wouldn’t let the moment pass.

  “Listen, I don’t mind waiting if you’re not ready for that, but you’re sending me mixed messages. I just don’t—”

  Without thinking too much about what he was about to do, Chase gripped her hips and pulled her closer, cutting her off mid-sentence. With wide eyes, her hands came up and clutched at the front of his shirt.

  “I’ve thought of nothing else since last night,” he whispered.

  His gaze traveled to her lips, and then he looked back into her eyes, where he saw the challenge to finish what he’d started. Before he lost his nerve, he leaned closer, tasting her sweet breath on his lips. Her fingers slid up his chest and wrapped into the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him closer. Chase kept his eyes locked with hers until their lips connected in the softest of touches.

  He gave in to the warmth and sensual feel of her mouth on his. Katie pressed her body against him, and he forgot where they were while his arms wrapped around her small waist, pulling her closer. Her head tilted to the side, and he followed her lead, taking her bottom lip between his and marveling at the pure need that bubbled up within him.

  Uncertainty hit him when he opened his mouth. It had been a long time since he’d kissed a woman like this, and he worried he might be moving too fast. That was until he felt her warm tongue run a delicate pattern across his bottom lip.

  There was no awkwardness in the kiss. It was as if they knew what the other wanted. What initially had begun as soft and hesitant quickly turned into fire and need while they tasted and explored one another.

  Chase heard a faint whistle and clapping before Katie broke free and buried her face in his chest. Dazed, he looked down at her and wondered why she was embarrassed. He glanced up in time to see Daniel giving them a round of applause.

  “Woo hoo! Chase made it to first base!” Daniel chuckled and gave him a thumbs-up.

  Chase was in too much of a Katie-induced haze to be embarrassed or irritated by the interruption. Instead, he gave his friend a stupid smile, which evaporated the instant he saw a little blond head poke out from around Daniel. Liz turned and darted past the bounce house, prompting Chase to let out a frustrated groan.

  Katie looked up at him when he released her. “What? Don’t go.” She grabbed on to his arm, afraid he was going to bolt again.

  “Liz,” he said, tilting his head in his daughter’s direction. Katie gave him an understanding nod, then released him. He handed her the keys before he took off after his daughter.

  Chase watched Liz’s long hair fly behind her when she ducked behind a carnival game. He passed a few of the coaches, who tried to flag him down, but he brushed them off and slowed when he rounded the game. Liz sat on the ground, her knees pulled up under her chin, while tears slid down her cheeks. He sat down next to her, and she surprised him by climbing into his lap and wiping her wet cheeks on his shirt.

  Rubbing her back with a soothing touch, he tried to think of something to say. When nothing came to him, Chase continued to hold her and let her cry. Liz sniffed and then looked up at him. He didn’t see any of the anger he expected—only hurt.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  After a moment of hesitation, she nodded. “You really like her, don’t you?” There was no malice in her words, only sadness.

  Chase sighed and knew it was better to get everything out in the open. “Yeah, I do.”

  She sank back down into his chest, her little fingers gripping his sides. He’d planned to sit there as long as she needed him, but Tony and Shawn came around the corner, his son’s face full of concern.

  “What happened to Liz?” he asked, patting the back of her hair.

  “She’s okay. Aren’t you, pumpkin?” Chase pulled her back until he could see the moisture on her lashes. She nodded, sniffed, and then climbed off his lap.

  “Did Cody pull your hair again?” Tony asked.

  Chase watched both him and Shawn clench their fists at the same time. Liz shook her head.

  “No, I just saw Dad kissing your mom.” She pointed an accusing finger at Shawn.

  Neither one of the boys acknowledged the sharpness in her voice. Their heads snapped in Chase’s direction. He ran his fingers through his hair, not wanting to deal with three irate kids. What he didn’t expect was Tony and Shawn’s shocked stares to turn into wide grins. They looked at each other and bumped fists in triumph.

  Liz rolled her eyes and turned to leave, but Chase caught her arm before she could escape.

  “Are you okay?” he asked once more.

  He hoped if she were still upset, she’d get it out now instead of leaving him to wonder when another eruption would occur. She looked down at the ground and then up at him.

  “Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”

  He let her go, watching her run off toward her friends. Both boys huddled together, and Chase didn’t want to endure any more uncomfortable conversations, so he slipped away while they were preoccupied.

  ~*~

  “S
o how was your date last night?” Gina asked after she grabbed a chair and sat down behind the table.

  Katie felt a smile twist at her mouth. “It was great.” Sensing Gina wanted to hear more, she went for the safest answer. “Francesco’s was amazing, and the Forest Theater is so beautiful.”

  “What about Chase?” Gina asked.

  “What about him?”

  She rolled her eyes before giving Katie a pointed look. “You know what I mean. How did it go?”

  “Well . . .” Katie said, trying to stall. “He was great. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with such impeccable manners. He was very attentive and sweet.”

  “So are you guys going out again?”

  Before she could answer, Daniel came back from his errand. “They’d better after the lip-lock I just witnessed.”

  “What did you see?” Gina demanded.

  “I saw your reclusive brother in a pretty heated make-out session with our new friend,” he said, pointing to Katie.

  Gina turned back to her and grinned. “Well then, I guess that means you’ll be joining us for the Good Old Days next weekend.

  Embarrassed, Katie nodded. “That sounds great.”

  She spotted Chase coming toward them, and the lightness of her mood shifted to worry over how Liz had taken the kiss. Katie excused herself and made her way over to him. Chase looked a little apprehensive when she reached him, and she decided to let him make the next move.

  “How’s Liz?”

  “She’s okay. I think we just surprised her,” he said with a sheepish smile. “Uh . . . she told Shawn and Tony what happened.”

  “And how did they react?” she asked with a smile, already knowing the answer.

  “Like they had just won the lottery.” Chase rubbed the back of his neck, and they both laughed.

  He took a tentative step toward her, and she smiled up at him, letting him give her a brief kiss.

  Katie’s insides turned to jelly at his touch. The ease with which he kissed her gave her hope that he had plans to keep doing it. Chase took her hand, laced his fingers with hers, and walked her back to the barbecue.