Ready To Love Again Read online

  “You’re taking my son away from me, but I could never leave you two without means of support.” The verbal spin to make him seem like the victim in this situation raised Katie’s hackles. He always knew how to spin an argument to be in his favor.

  Any guilt she might have felt for moving Shawn away was replaced with the knowledge that this was just another item on his long list of tactical weapons. “I’m not the one who caused all this.” Although she knew he enjoyed pushing her buttons, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of losing it in front of him. “I’m doing what I have to do. You stepped out of Shawn’s life the moment you brought her into your bed.”

  “Her name’s Elena.”

  Like it matters what her name is. Katie rolled her eyes and turned to stare out the window.

  “You know I could take you to court to keep you close to home.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.” This was a new threat she hadn’t heard before, but she wasn’t intimidated. “I would shred you in court. I have enough proof of your infidelity and abusive behavior to take full custody and force you to spend thousands of dollars in legal fees. That’s not including what I could demand for child support. Do you honestly want to pay more? I think I’ve been fair with the support and visitation I requested. I could have made things a lot worse for you, but if you want to play Russian roulette with the courts, then be my guest. It’ll cost you in the end.”

  Katie knew Victor wanted to argue with her, but he wouldn’t tangle with her, because her words weren’t idle threats.

  He nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I want you to be happy. I’m just gonna miss Shawn.”

  Rubbing her forehead, Katie grappled with his apology. “I don’t want to fight either, Victor. I’m sorry we’re moving away, but I need to do what’s best for me and Shawn.”

  When they next stopped to fill up, Katie and Shawn switched places so he could spend more time with his father while she rode in comfortable silence with her brother. Almost fifteen hours later, they pulled down the gravel driveway that led to her new home. Buddy was excited to be out of the cramped confines of Katie’s small car. He ran all over the yard, sniffing and exploring his new territory. Victor snarled at him whenever he ran too close. Her ex hated Buddy, and Katie couldn’t help but think the feeling was mutual.

  The afternoon was spent unloading boxes while Victor put the bed frames together so they would have somewhere to sleep when night rolled around. Katie was putting away dishes when she heard a loud growl from the yard.

  “Stupid frickin’ mutt!” Victor yelled, holding his bleeding hand.

  “What happened?” While Katie dug around for a towel to help stop the bleeding, Victor walked over to the sink and stuck his hand under the running water.

  “He bit me,” Victor growled. “Why did you ever get that damn dog? I would have never allowed you to have one.”

  The hair on the back of Katie’s neck stood up when he uttered those words. “You still don’t get it. That’s why I left you in the first place.”

  “What?”

  “ ‘I would never have allowed you to have one,’ ” Katie said, throwing his words back at him. “You controlled every aspect of our lives with your ridiculous rules. They were a way to manipulate me into doing what you wanted while you ran around with your whore.”

  His voice lowered, and his eyes narrowed as he stared at her over his shoulder. “I told you there was nothing between Elena and me before that afternoon. Why in the hell do you keep throwing that in my face? I loved you, Katie.”

  She was tired of holding all her emotions in check, tired of giving in to try to keep the peace, and especially tired of his refusal to see his responsibility for their initial separation.

  “Loved me? Then explain why you imprisoned me in that house and kept me in the dark over the finances for years. I stopped associating with my friends because it was easier to let them go than to deal with your jealousy whenever anyone else occupied my time. Tell me, does a loving husband stay out until the early morning hours and then refuse to tell his wife where he was? You never afforded me the same privacy, checking the mileage on my car and demanding to know where I was every single second of the day. Do you think that’s normal behavior for a married couple?” Katie stepped forward, her fists clenched at her side. The rage she’d held back for years could no longer be contained. “I left you because you kept asking the neighbors if they’d seen any men coming out of the house when you weren’t home. Do you even understand how humiliating it was to hear about that through the gossip mill? Then, to top it off, you sleep with some sleaze you picked up in a bar!”

  “Shut up!” His fist pounded on the counter so hard that the glasses she washed earlier rattled in the dish drainer. Katie jumped back out of arms reach, afraid she might have finally pushed him over the edge. Although Victor had never gotten physical with her, she’d also never seen him this angry.

  His gaze was so cold that it could have given an Eskimo frostbite. The muscles in his jaw clenched, and his ears turned a bright shade of red, a sure sign he was boiling mad. He looked away and took a deep breath instead of yelling like he usually did.

  There’s an improvement.

  She didn’t know why she’d brought up those things. It didn’t matter anymore, and Victor wasn’t going to offer an explanation that would satisfy her anyway. To date, he had apologized for the affair but not for his controlling ways, which were the main reason for their separation.

  “Just stop,” Victor said, looking toward the door. “Kevin doesn’t need to hear all this.”

  “You’re amazing,” she said, her voice raising. “All I’ve ever wanted was a damn apology from you, but you still can’t give me one, can you? You can’t bring yourself to admit this whole thing was your fault.” She turned away so he wouldn’t see her angry tears and came face-to-face with her wide-eyed little boy.

  “Mom? Dad?” Shawn’s voice quivered when he shot a pleading look toward his mother. “Please don’t fight.”

  Katie dropped to her knees in front of him, then wrapped him in her arms. “It’s okay, baby. We’re fine.”

  “Yeah, squirt. Things are cool.” Turning back to the faucet, Victor ran his injured hand under the tap again.

  Kevin came up behind Shawn and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Katie, why don’t you take Buddy for a walk on the beach?”

  The anger she had for her idiot ex still bubbled under the surface, and she didn’t want to upset Shawn anymore, so she agreed. She grabbed the leash and whistled for Buddy as she climbed into the car.

  “Did you get a bite out of him? That’s my good puppy.” She smirked and scratched him behind the ears.

  Katie drove through downtown Carmel and marveled at its quaint, village-like feel. At the end of Ocean Avenue, there was a small parking area where the beach began. Before she let Buddy out, she glanced in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize the woman who stared back at her. Her green eyes were tinged with red. She hadn’t realized she looked so tired. Although the dark circles, which were a constant reminder of the stress she’d endured, weren’t as harsh against her pale complexion as they had been months before, there was still a hint of shadow lurking under the skin.

  She sighed and pulled a rubber band out of the console, then swept her thick hair away from her face to keep the wind from making it crazy. There were benefits to having lots of hair, but strong breezes and mist always made it turn into a frizzy mess. Satisfied she wouldn’t be eating her hair during her walk, she let Buddy out and he tore down the beach at a breakneck pace.

  The sun dipped below the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant shade of orange and pink. She meandered in the direction Buddy had disappeared and caught sight of him running around a man far off in the distance. Katie whistled to her dog, and his ears perked up before he ran back toward her. Once he reached halfway, he turned around and ran back to the man.

  “What is that stupid dog doing?” she grumbled un
der her breath.

  She whistled again, only to have him ignore her. It’s obedience school for you again, mister. The man picked up a small piece of driftwood and threw it in her direction, trying to get her dog to run back to her.

  “Come here, Buddy.”

  Katie stood in one spot and slapped her hands on her thighs. Buddy ran up to her, but before she could grab him, he bolted back to his new friend.

  When she drew nearer to the stranger, she couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was. A wild mess of dark hair with hints of red highlights caught the sun’s fading light. His strong jaw, covered in day-old stubble, gave him a rugged, working man’s look, even though his clothing and expensive watch showed he was white collar. He leaned down and scratched Buddy behind the ears before he looked in her direction.

  “I’m sorry if he’s being a pest,” she said when she hooked Buddy’s leash onto his collar.

  The man continued to lavish attention on her disobedient pup. “No, no. He’s fine. A bit friendly, but fine.” His voice was like velvet, a soft baritone sound that rumbled through the breeze.

  Katie felt her cheeks flush when he looked up at her with a smile and then patted Buddy’s head one last time. She was struck again by his strong, masculine features. Teeth so white he could have been cast in a toothpaste commercial, sharp cheekbones, and a small cleft in his chin made him even more handsome up close. His eyes drew her in. They were the lightest crystal blue, with a darker ring around his irises. The only flaw was the redness in his eyes, which made him look more tired than she did. She looked down at her dog in the hope that the man hadn’t caught her ogling him.

  “So, Buddy, did you make a new friend?” she asked, patting his head.

  “Buddy? That’s original,” he said with a chuckle.

  “My son loves Air Bud.”

  “My kids like that movie, too.”

  At the mention of children, Katie’s eyes flashed down to his left hand, and there on his ring finger was a gold band.

  Figures.

  Getting back into the dating game in her thirties wouldn’t be easy. Most men her age were either married, divorced with their own issues, or perpetual bachelors.

  “Well, I should get going. It’s going to be dark soon.” She tugged on Buddy’s leash and turned back toward her car.

  “Have a nice evening,” he called.

  Katie turned and gave a small wave, forcing a smile. “You, too.”

  Chapter 3

  The drive to the airport the next morning was solemn while Victor and Shawn tried to squeeze four months of bonding into a few minutes. Katie felt a familiar pang of guilt when Victor said goodbye to his son. She understood the loss he felt by the distress in his eyes. She wasn’t sure how she would cope when she had to send Shawn away to his father for the summer.

  After she kissed her brother goodbye and Victor embraced his son, he surprised Katie by pulling her into his arms and kissing her forehead. Kevin took Shawn aside to give them a moment alone.

  “I’m sorry about yesterday,” Victor whispered into her ear. When she stiffened in his embrace, he gave a long sigh. “I’m sorry about everything. You’re right. I screwed up, and it was my fault things ended the way they did.”

  Katie kept her guard up, unsure what to say. She wanted to believe his apology was sincere, but she feared it was just another ploy to manipulate her.

  As if reading her mind, Victor released her and stepped back. “I’m not going to complain about you moving. I understand you’re doing what you think you need to do, but I want you to know that if you ever want to come home, I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”

  She nodded and bit her tongue to keep from answering that she never would. When Victor gave her arm an awkward squeeze, she couldn’t help but feel sorrow at this chapter in her life ending, even though she had made the right decision. It was hard to let go of the only love she had known, even if that love had tromped all over her heart and caused her move away from her family.

  “I love you, Katie. I always will,” Victor said, rubbing his thumb over her arm.

  Katie kept her face neutral while she tried not to unleash the raging storm of emotions that threatened to surface. She kept telling herself Victor wasn’t the man she’d fallen in love with years ago. He was a controlling bastard who had broken their marriage vows. No matter how charming he sounded making his apology, she knew he was the same liar he’d been for the past several years.

  “Just don’t forget to call Shawn like you did when we lived in town. He still needs you to be his father, even if you don’t live near each other.”

  There was a flash of anger in his eyes, but Victor released her arm and gave her a curt nod before he turned to Shawn and ruffled his hair. He grabbed his duffel bag and, with a small wave, disappeared through the airport doors with Kevin. While she watched his retreat, she gave in to the relief that it was really over.

  When Katie turned to look at Shawn, she berated herself for being so caught up in her own feelings that she failed to comfort her son. She pulled him against her side and kissed his forehead.

  “It’ll be okay. You get to spend six weeks with him in the summer.”

  Shawn nodded against her chest and sniffed back tears. Although Katie’s guilt returned full force, she knew there was nothing she could do to ease his pain.

  ~*~

  Monday morning came a little too early for Katie. Her muscles ached from all the unpacking she and Shawn had accomplished over the weekend. She stretched her arms above her head with a loud yawn. Trying to gain enough energy to drag herself out of bed, she put her hands up in time to catch her energetic boy when he propelled himself onto her bed.

  “Get up, Mom! I get to start a new school today!”

  Shawn was so much more outgoing than Katie had ever been at his age. She dreaded those first few days of school, while he seemed to be thrilled by the idea. He bounced on his knees beside her, pulling at her arm and chanting, “Up, up, up!”

  Sitting up to get him to stop jostling her around, Katie swatted him on the tush when he climbed off the bed. “Go get breakfast, and don’t forget to feed Buddy.”

  Shawn gave her a happy grin before he bounded off the bed and darted out of the room. With a heavy sigh, she made her way into the small bathroom she shared with her son.

  Katie had been fortunate to find the small cottage located halfway between Carmel and Carmel Valley. Rent in the area was ridiculous, but her old professor had given her the name of the couple who lived in the bigger house on the property, telling her that they were interested in a tenant. After several phone calls, the owners agreed to rent to her at a rate she was more than comfortable paying. She took it sight unseen.

  The house was old, built in 1913, and needed upgrading. The single level, barn-style home was painted a brick red, except for the white trim that decorated the windows and doors. Blooming purple bougainvillea climbed up the side of the house, where French doors opened to the patio from the living room. Katie loved the old-fashioned feel of the home and the wavy texture to the hundred-year-old glass in the windows, and winters in Carmel didn’t get cold enough to worry about insulation. They lived in a beautiful area, surrounded by trees and with room for Buddy and Shawn to run. The house was outside the Carmel city limits, which made it far enough inland to avoid the fog that rolled off the ocean, yet close enough to go to the beach whenever they wanted.

  She brushed her teeth and ran her hands through her dark hair. Pulling it back into a ponytail, she wondered if she should go with more highlights. It had been a couple of years since she had them done. Victor had always insisted she get them done when they were together. She hadn’t cared one way or the other at the time, but now it almost felt like bending to his will if she got highlights again.

  Glancing at herself in the mirror, she realized how much she had changed since the separation. The strain of the first year had killed her appetite, and she’d lost a lot of weight. While she didn’t mind losing the last fe
w pounds of baby fat she could never get rid of, she didn’t like how it happened. Since she decided to move on with her life, she’d managed to gain back enough weight to put her where she was in college.

  Making her way back to her room, Katie threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. She thought of the handsome man she’d met on the beach and wondered if maybe she should wear something a little nicer, just in case she ran into an attractive single father at the school.

  It had been forever since she’d considered trying to draw the attention of the opposite sex. The notion that she could catch a man’s eye made her laugh. Even though she wasn’t anxious to date, she wasn’t opposed to the idea if the opportunity arose. Now that she’d had a couple of years to get used to her marriage being over, it was easier to consider.

  Katie hurried Shawn out of the house, and they made the short drive to the public elementary school located behind the Carmel Mission. When they pulled up to the school, Shawn’s eyes grew wider, and he began to bite his nails.

  “What if they don’t like me?” he whispered.

  Katie resisted laughing at his question. Shawn never had problems making friends. If anything, he attracted children to him like the Pied Piper.

  “Just be yourself, honey. I have no doubt you’ll have more friends than you know what to do with by the time the day is over.”

  Shawn nodded and put on a brave face while they made their way to the office to take care of the paperwork. Once everything was settled, the office assistant pointed them in the direction of his new classroom.

  Katie glanced down at her son when they reached the room. He still gnawed at his fingers, so she pushed his hand away and pulled his chin upward until he looked at her.

  “You’re going to have a great day. Just remember to be nice to everyone and don’t tease the girls.”

  Shawn’s eyes brightened, and an impish grin appeared. “I like teasing girls.”