Ready To Love Again Read online

  She looked up at him with a smirk. “Uh-huh, slaved.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. “How much did Gina do?”

  The twinkle in his eye revealed the boyish charm she had grown to adore in recent weeks. “Nothing slips by you, does it?”

  She laughed before she slid into a seat in the cockpit. Chase placed a plate in front of her and then sat down next to her. Katie’s mouth watered while she watched him make her a crêpe with strawberries and whipped cream.

  “So what are the plans when we get home?” Katie asked before she took a bite of the delectable crêpe.

  “What do you mean?” Chase poured them both a mimosa and handed one to her.

  “I mean with us.” She took a long, slow sip of her drink, trying to hide her nervousness.

  Chase looked out over the calm sea as if pondering his answer, then turned his soulful eyes back to her. “That depends on what you want.”

  Katie looked down at her plate, self-conscious at the way he attempted to circumvent her question. “I don’t want to pressure you into what I want.”

  “Well, do you want to continue to―” He paused, unsure of what to say.

  Her emotions were running high. She had spent an amazing night with a man with whom she was falling in love, but she could see his reluctance to define their relationship. That scared her. Chase had been so attentive and charming, as if this trip was the start of something more for them, but then he’d clammed up as if he didn’t know what he wanted. Katie could feel tears starting to form, but she swallowed them down.

  “Do you regret what happened last night?” Katie whispered.

  “No, not at all.”

  He took her hand in his. His gentle touch reminded her of the evening before, and a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. Chase’s eyes searched hers when he wiped it away with his fingertips. Katie turned away, not wanting him to witness her vulnerability, but he wouldn’t let her. He cupped her cheek and pulled her face back toward his.

  “Katie.” She could hear the anguish in his voice. “I would love to continue this, whatever it is, when we get home. I have no intention of letting you go.”

  He pulled her face closer, and she let him. Katie wanted nothing more than to believe what he said, but the insecurity of a failed marriage made her waver. His lips were tender when they brushed against hers before he pulled back to look into her eyes.

  “I have to be honest with you,” Chase said, taking his hand away from her face to clasp hers.

  He looked away for a moment and then turned back to her. The turmoil she saw in his eyes confused her even more.

  “I-I don’t know what I’m doing.” He made the admission with a small smile. “Sometimes I think about you and what you’ve brought into my life. I want this. I want more. But then other times I feel so damn guilty for wanting you―for wanting more.” Chase pulled her hand up to his face and rubbed it lightly across the stubble on his cheek before he kissed the inside of her wrist. “I feel guilty for moving on, and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty for moving on,” he said with a dark chuckle. “You deserve my whole self, and I don’t know how long it will be before I can give that to you.” His eyes pleaded for her understanding. Now that all his cards were on the table and he was exposed, Katie felt a small ache in her chest over his dilemma.

  “I don’t expect you to forget about your past.”

  “I know that. You’ve been very understanding.” Chase squeezed her hands and pulled them to his chest. “I loved my wife very much. I never thought I’d want another relationship,” he whispered. “And here I sit with you. You make my heart race when I hear your voice. When you’re away, I feel empty, and when you’re near, I want you closer. I’m falling hard for you, and it scares me. It makes me think I didn’t love Terri enough if I can feel so many things for you.”

  The torment in his voice melted away her pain and uncertainty. This was harder on him than it would ever be on her. She had divorced a man who didn’t want her enough to be faithful. She’d fallen out of love with that man because of the decisions he had made. Chase wasn’t fortunate enough to have had that choice. The woman he’d loved had been ripped from him and his children. Of course he would feel this way. Even if it hurt her to see his deep loyalty to his wife, she couldn’t deny that she respected him more for it.

  “You don’t have to compare what you feel for me with what you felt for Terri. I told you before. You need to keep a piece of your heart for the mother of your children. I get that, and I’m okay with it. I’ll take whatever you’re able to give me.”

  Would she be okay with this arrangement? It didn’t feel like she held second place in his life now, but would she feel the same later?

  “I can’t help but think it’s not fair to you.” Chase recognized the same thing she had, and because he’d recognized it, her mind was eased.

  “Chase, I’ll worry about me. If weekends like this are all you can give me, I’ll take them for now.”

  He tugged on her hand until she plopped onto his lap. “I can do more than weekends. I told you I want more. I want you around all the time. I want you with my family. I want your friendship. I want you in my bed. I want your heart.” He whispered the last sentence, and she wasn’t sure she heard him correctly before he kissed her lips with a gentle touch.

  Katie felt better now that she knew why he’d hesitated to express his desire for their future, but she still kept herself from expressing her true emotions. It was too late for her—she was already in love with him—but she realized a declaration that profound would only complicate things. Until he was ready to give her all that was left of his heart, she wouldn’t push him.

  ~*~

  When Chase motored into the Monterey harbor, flashes of the weekend’s activities ran across his mind. Aside from her beautiful body beneath his, the strong feelings he had for Katie stood out from all other thoughts. He couldn’t even remember what it felt like in the beginning stages of love with Terri.

  Love? Is that what this is?

  He cared about Katie and wanted to spend every waking moment with her, but was this love? Wasn’t it too soon to consider the possibility?

  Chase was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn’t see his sister or the kids waiting on the pier until he pulled into the slip. Gina’s arms were folded over her chest and her foot tapped on the dock while he motored in. Shutting down the engine, he threw her a rope to tie them off.

  “How was the Love Boat?” Gina said when he helped her onto the deck.

  “Thanks for bringing the kids,” he said, avoiding her question. There was no way he would get into the details of his trip with her.

  “If the boat’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’?” She pushed past him.

  Chase stopped and gave her a disgusted glare. “Ugh, Gina! What are you doing? Taking lessons from Dad?”

  “No, if I were Dad, I would have asked you if you struck out, bunted, or hit a grand slam.” She laughed and headed to the galley, leaving him to marvel at her crassness.

  “Where’s Katie, Dad?” Tony asked when he scurried up the ladder.

  “She’s down below, getting lunch ready.”

  Shawn climbed onto the deck and joined Tony in the bow of the boat. His eyes filled with wonder when Tony showed him around. Chase held out his hand for Liz, and she accepted it.

  “Why do Katie and Shawn have to come with us on the boat?” Liz whined once she was on deck.

  “Because I invited them.”

  “But I don’t want to spend the day with them. You said the boat was our special place after Mom died.”

  “Elizabeth,” Chase stated in a firm, low voice, “Katie and Shawn came because I want them here. If you can’t be nice about this, I will send you home with Aunt Gina.” He knew she wouldn’t want to miss an outing on the boat, so he hoped the threat would straighten her out. He could almost see the steam come out of her ears while she considered what he’d said. After a moment, she gave him a curt nod and plun
ked down in the cockpit.

  “Elizabeth, will you behave?”

  She turned back to look at him, and he was shocked at the venom that spewed from her lips. “I’ll be good, but I hate it! I don’t want them here. I don’t want them on our boat.”

  Katie emerged from below deck as Liz’s tantrum came to a peak. She had a smile on her lips, but he could see the distress in her eyes.

  “Do you like peanut butter and honey sandwiches?” Katie asked Liz with a smile, ignoring what she had heard.

  Chase cut in before Liz could say something snotty. “They’re her favorite.” He gave Liz a look that said not to contradict him before he turned back to Katie. “Thank you. I’ll be down in a minute to help you.” Katie waved her hand and said she could handle it before she went back below.

  Turning back to Liz, he saw a smug smile on her face, and his anger resurfaced. “Elizabeth Marie,” he said in a stern reprimand, wanting to make sure she understood the consequences if she continued with her callous behavior. She looked at him, and the smile slid off her lips to be replaced with a look of shame. “I will not have you ruining this day. Katie and Shawn have shown nothing but kindness to you, even in your most insufferable moments. You need to stop acting like a spoiled brat and become the nice young lady I know you can be.”

  Liz looked down at her feet and nodded. It was the best he would get out of her, so he walked over and pulled her into a hug.

  “I love you, sweetheart. Please don’t make this so hard.”

  “I love you, too, Daddy.” It wasn’t lost on him that she didn’t acknowledge his request.

  “Well, I’m outta here,” Gina said when she climbed out of the hatch and gave Liz a disappointed look. “Is everything okay? Do I need to cancel my day with Daniel and take Liz home?” Gina could lay a guilt trip down like no one Chase had ever met—besides their mother.

  “I think we’re good,” Chase said, looking at Liz for confirmation. She nodded.

  “All right, but I don’t ever want to hear anything like I just heard come out of your mouth again, little girl.”

  Liz had the good sense not to back talk her aunt, instead nodding again before burying her face in Chase’s shirt.

  “I think Katie needs some help with lunch.” Gina gave him a pointed stare before she climbed down the ladder.

  Chase gave the boys the task of winding up the lines before he headed belowdecks to see Katie. She turned when she heard him descend the stairs and gave him an understanding smile. Chase knew Liz’s words had upset her, but he was at a loss as to what to do about it. He came up behind Katie and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “I’m sorry you heard that.”

  She sighed and turned to face him. “Shawn and I don’t have to go today.” Chase started to shake his head, but she put her finger over his lips to keep him from speaking. “It’s okay. Take your kids out for the day. We can do it another time.”

  Chase gripped her waist tighter. “No, I want you and Shawn here. Liz will behave. I don’t want Shawn to be disappointed because Liz is irritated.”

  Katie pulled back and searched his eyes. “All right, if you think this won’t make things worse.”

  Chase wasn’t sure if his decision would complicate things, but he knew he couldn’t give in to Liz’s tantrums.

  Tony and Shawn rambled on about how much fun they would have sailing while they stuffed their faces with two sandwiches each. Liz ate in silence, only answering when addressed. Katie tried to engage her in conversation several times, but she gave up after Liz refused to give her more than one-word answers. Katie cleared the table, and the boys went back to watching the boats while Liz curled up on a deck chair with a book.

  Once the children had their life vests on, Chase motored the boat out of the harbor with Shawn at his side. The boy wanted to know the function of every button on the control panel. As soon as Chase answered one question, he had another.

  “Tony!” Chase said in a panicked voice when his son leaned over the railing at the bow of the boat. He looked back at his dad, and Chase shook his head. “Don’t lean so far over the railing!” he shouted over the wind when they passed the speed buoys.

  “I thought I saw dolphins,” Tony said, coming back to the helm.

  Shawn got so excited at the prospect of seeing dolphins that he tripped over the rigging, catching himself just before his face connected with the deck. Tony helped him up, and they both went to the bow and peered over. Katie came above deck after putting the lunch away and moved to watch with the boys. After they were well on their way, Chase unfurled the sails, set the autopilot and went to join them. Tony let out a squeal of delight when a dolphin shot out over the water in the boat’s wake.

  “Liz!” Tony yelled in his excitement, making her look up from her book. “Come look! Dolphins.” He bounced with enthusiasm. She looked past Tony to the dolphins but then shrugged her shoulders, stood, and headed toward the hatch.

  “I’m going to take a nap,” she called over her shoulder and disappeared below.

  Chase felt annoyance flare up at her stubbornness.

  “Stop scowling. You’re going to scare away the dolphins,” Katie whispered to him.

  His agitation melted away when she looked up at him like that with a small smile on her lips. Chase kissed her forehead and rubbed her arms when another dolphin jumped out of the water.

  “What are they doing?” Shawn asked, looking from his mother and back to the dolphins. “They’re gonna get runned over by the boat.”

  Katie let out a soft chuckle before shaking her head. “No, they’re playing.” She glanced over the edge. “They’re riding the bow wave. The boat is pushing them along. They’ve been clocked before at thirty knots per hour. When they jump out of the water, it’s called porpoising.” As if on cue, two dolphins sailed out of the water. “They’ll also ride the wakes of whales and will chase other species away so they can have the ride all to themselves.”

  Tony and Shawn looked on with wonder. Since Katie had their attention, she didn’t miss the opportunity to show them a little of why she loved her job.

  “Did you know that the people who made Finding Nemo came to the aquarium to find out more about jellyfish?” Both boys were excited at that tidbit of information, and Chase chuckled at how Katie kept their interest by relating facts about different species in the Disney movie. Tony wrapped an arm around Katie’s waist, captivated by her every word. He’d always been an affectionate child, but he usually reserved his attention for family.

  Katie walked back to Chase while the boys continued to watch the dolphins. “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon,” she said, slipping between Chase and the wheel and tugging on his shirt.

  “Thank you for coming.”

  He took her hand, guided her to the double deckchair, and pulled her down with him. She rested her head on his shoulder while he ran his fingers through her hair. Chase relaxed into the chair, savoring the sounds of the boys talking, the waves slapping against the boat, and the gentle rocking motion.

  When he heard even breathing coming from the woman in his arms, he grinned. Chase settled in, wrapped his arms tight around her, and closed his eyes. There was no way he would fall asleep with two mischievous boys running around above deck, but he relaxed as much as he could and enjoyed the afternoon sun.

  “Dad! Dad!” Tony yelled. “Whales!”

  Chase lifted his head, and sure enough, there was a large humpback whale and her baby a few hundred yards away from the boat. Katie stirred, and her eyes cracked open.

  “I’m sorry,” she said with a yawn and stretched like a cat, exposing a sliver of skin where her shirt rode up. Chase rubbed his fingers over her bare flesh, making her shudder before curling back into him. “I guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

  The teasing in her voice made him chuckle. “No, I suppose you didn’t.”

  “Da-ad,” Tony whined and pulled at his father’s arm, trying to get him to show more interest in the w
hales.

  “Sorry, slugger,” Chase apologized and sat up. He released Katie and let his son pull him to his feet.

  “Look!” Tony pointed out the whales, which were still nearby.

  “I see, I see. Why don’t you go get your sister? She might want to see them, too, and she’s been napping long enough.” Tony nodded and ran below deck while Shawn stayed and watched the whales rise out of the water. After a few minutes, Tony surfaced without Liz, looking forlorn and dejected.

  “Where’s Liz?” Chase asked. Tony grimaced at his father’s question, but didn’t answer. “Anthony?”

  “She said she didn’t want to be up here with Katie and Shawn,” Tony said, trying to muffle his answer, but Chase knew Katie had caught every word when he heard her intake of breath.

  Damn.

  Chase stalked toward the hatch, tired of Liz’s insolence, but Katie darted in front of him and held him back. He looked down into her distressed face, and his anger at his daughter doubled.

  “Chase, don’t. Please leave it alone. If you go down there and force our relationship on her, then she’ll only despise it more.”

  A part of Chase recognized what she said was true, but how could he let Liz treat Katie and Shawn like this? He tried to calm himself enough to see what the result of an outburst would accomplish, and he knew it wouldn’t end well. He raked his hands through his hair in defeat, and Katie relaxed once he had calmed down.

  “Damn it, Katie,” Chase said, pulling her into his arms. “It’s not fair that you have to always deal with my issues.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not okay. You don’t deserve this treatment, and I feel like I’m powerless to do anything about it. I don’t want to push her because she may never accept you, but then again, what she’s doing is wrong.” Chase sighed and lowered his forehead to hers, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

  To the dismay of the boys, Chase and Katie decided to head back to shore. To hold off a revolt, Chase let them captain the boat while he stood close by and reminded them what needed to be done. He took over once the boat sailed past the speed buoys in the harbor.