Ready To Love Again Read online

  Liz didn’t come back up to the deck until Chase cut the engine and tied the boat to the slip. She emerged from below and sat in the cockpit away from everyone else, waiting for Chase to lower the ladder. After Katie and the boys were on the dock, Chase reached for Liz to help her down.

  “I’m disappointed in your choices today,” he said.

  She looked up at him, and he saw the sadness reflected in her eyes. He swallowed the guilt he felt at calling her out on her bad behavior and helped her down to the dock.

  The drive back to Katie’s was quiet since both boys fell asleep in the backseat and Liz continued with the silent treatment. Katie looked thoughtful while she stared out the window. Chase took her hand and rubbed soothing circles over her knuckles. She smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. He didn’t know what to do about it.

  When they reached her house, Chase picked up Shawn and carried him to his room. Once he was settled into his bed, Katie slipped off his shoes and covered him up. She tugged Chase into the hallway and kissed him with an urgency that confused him. He pulled away and when their eyes met, he saw the doubt and sorrow in her face.

  “Katie,” he whispered, reaching for her again, but not before a tear slid down her face. He wiped it away with his thumb and held her close. “It’ll all work out.”

  Chase wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself. She nodded and pulled away, swiping at the stream of tears.

  “You should go,” she whispered. “The kids are waiting for you.” He kissed her one last time before leaving her standing in the hallway.

  ~*~

  Katie lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. Rolling over, she glanced at the clock: 2:42. Great! It had been hours. She slammed her head back down on the pillow, threw her arm over her eyes, and tried to drown the barrage of thoughts invading her mind.

  From the moment Chase kissed her goodbye, she had felt an uneasy sense of dread. Things weren’t better with Liz. Katie had two very different reactions to Liz’s stubborn refusal to come above deck. The first was panic that Shawn would be hurt by her attitude, but to her relief, he hadn’t heard Tony’s explanation. Besides that concern, she was sad about Liz and the challenges Chase was facing.

  There was no denying that they were confronted with a major obstacle in their relationship. Chase and Gina seemed to think Liz would warm up to Katie when she was ready. But the more she was around her, the more Katie worried that would never happen.

  Katie speculated that Liz’s avoidance on the boat was a learned behavior and that Chase had contributed to her actions by not correcting it when he had the opportunity in the past. From what Chase had said previously, he thought it was easier not to think about things too much. Didn’t he realize that children needed to talk about their losses? Unlike adults, they couldn’t put all their emotions into neat little boxes to open up later when they felt like dealing with them.

  Katie groaned and rolled onto her stomach, punching the pillow and trying to let out her silent frustration. She could see that Chase was at a loss as to what to do about Liz. Heaven knew everyone made mistakes, but she hoped his wouldn’t come back to haunt them in the future.

  Katie buried her nose further into the pillow while she thought of fun things she and Liz could do together and wondered if she liked the aquarium. Or maybe museums? She growled and rolled over, angry with herself for thinking of things she liked to do instead of what Liz might enjoy. Katie reached to turn on the lamp next to the bed, and a soft glow lit up the room. Grabbing the book she’d started, she propped a couple of pillows behind her head and settled in for a sleepless night. Reading always calmed her down. In fact, it had been her escape when Victor had turned her life upside down. If she couldn’t sleep, at least she’d be entertained.

  Slapping her hand against her head, Katie experienced an “aha!” moment. Liz liked to read. Katie had seen her with countless books over the last couple of months. Maybe she could appeal to her inner bookworm. They might be able to find common ground in something they both enjoyed. Katie felt a small sense of hope while she tried to rack her brain for a book that might interest Liz. She wasn’t familiar with young girls’ reading preferences, so she decided to look into it in the morning.

  Feeling like she had a plan, Katie felt her eyelids droop. She shut off the light and sank down into a deep oblivion.

  ~*~

  “Hurry up, Shawn. You’re going to be late for your game.”

  Katie had finished packing the cooler full of snacks and juice boxes when the phone rang. She considered letting the answering machine get it so they wouldn’t be late, but Shawn was too quick.

  “Hello?” His face fell into a frown. “Oh hey, Dad.”

  Finally. Stupid ex-husband.

  “I want to talk to him when you’re done,” Katie said before she walked out of the kitchen, pretending to allow him privacy to avoid his seeing the scowl etched across her face.

  Katie went into the living room, trying to calm herself before she had to speak to her ex-husband. She listened to Shawn’s side of the conversation while he reluctantly told Victor about school, baseball, and Tony and Chase. Katie ground her teeth together when Victor began to drill him about how much time they’d spent with his coach. She was about to end their chat before Shawn told him more than she wanted Victor to know, when Shawn’s angry tone made her stop.

  “Why didn’t you call before? I left a couple messages telling you about this stuff.”

  Katie frowned and walked into the kitchen, letting Shawn know she was there if he needed her to step in. Shawn’s head dropped while he listened to his father give him the same excuses he’d given before. When he nodded and she noticed the moisture on his cheek, she had heard enough.

  “Shawn, it’s time to get off the phone. We need to get to the game.”

  He said his goodbye before he handed the phone to her. She told him to finish getting his gear together and waited until he had gone to his room before she went onto the back porch. This conversation wouldn’t be pretty.

  “Victor,” she said with every amount of control she could dredge up. “It’s about time you called.”

  “Listen, Katie, I’ve been busy with a contract we picked up—”

  “Give me a break, Victor. It takes ten minutes to call your son. What happened to the fatherly concern about us moving so far away? You aren’t hurting me, but Shawn realizes you’re not making an effort, so what am I supposed to tell him?”

  “Wait a minute.” She could almost see the defensive stance he’d take whenever he was backed into a corner. “I know I’m at fault here. I should’ve called sooner, but you’re the one bringing some guy around Shawn.” Katie took a deep breath and tried to squash her temper while Victor’s voice rose. “You’re such a hypocrite. You wouldn’t let Elena anywhere near Shawn, and now you’re shacking up with some guy?”

  “I wouldn’t let Elena around Shawn because you had an affair. I don’t have any say in whether or not she’s around now, no matter how much I hate having that home-wrecking tramp around my son.” Katie stopped for a moment to take another deep breath and tried to calm down. She couldn’t believe the audacity of this man, putting Chase in the same category as Elena. It boggled her mind. “Shawn understands we’re no longer together, so there is no reason for me to hide Chase from him. And I’m not living with him. We’ve been on a few dates, but that’s none of your business. You, on the other hand, needed to keep Elena a secret because of your infidelity. You didn’t want my brothers to find out the real reason why I left, did you?” She played the one card that would shut him up. The last thing he wanted was for Kevin and Steven to find out the real reason for their divorce. It would put a huge strain on their working relationship—not to mention that her brothers would take him behind the woodshed and beat the pulp out of him.

  “Ouch, Katie. That’s a low blow.” The argument was over, at least for now.

  “When are you planning on taking Shawn f
or the summer?”

  “That’s why I’m calling. Southwest has cheap flights right now, and I wanted to know when the school year ends.”

  “June fifth.”

  “All right, I’ll see what I can do and get back to you. I thought I could fly out and maybe stay the night at your house. Then Shawn and I can fly back, if that’s okay with you.”

  Katie held back a groan at the thought of being under the same roof with him, but she knew it was a sacrifice she’d have to make. She didn’t want to send Shawn on an airplane for the first time by himself. One of them would have to fly with him, and since Victor was paying for the tickets, the least she could do was help out with a place to stay.

  “If that’s all, we have a baseball game to get to.”

  “So he’s playing ball?”

  “Yes. It’s the last game before the playoffs, and I don’t have time to fill you in on a season’s worth of plays,” she said, snapping at him.

  “Wow, I really screwed up. I can’t believe I missed this.” Victor paused. He sounded remorseful, but she wasn’t sure if he meant it or if it was another tactic to make himself the victim.

  Katie let some of her anger dissolve before she spoke. “Listen, Victor—call back later next week. I’m sure Shawn can talk your ear off about baseball for hours.”

  “Thanks, Katie,” he said.

  She wouldn’t feel sorry for him. He’d brought it on himself. Katie hoped he realized the damage he’d done by not calling and hoped he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

  Hanging the phone on the charger, she turned to find Shawn standing in the kitchen with his baseball bag at his feet. “Did he tell you he had a big job and that’s why he didn’t call?”

  Katie nodded.

  “He always has a job.” Shawn picked up his bag and headed toward the door.

  “Are you okay, honey?”

  He stopped and turned around to look over his shoulder. “Yeah. He does this all the time. I didn’t think it would change when we moved here.”

  “I’m sorry we moved so far away.”

  Shawn shrugged. “I didn’t want to move, but I go where you go because I want to be with you—not him. Even if we lived in Albuquerque, Dad probably wouldn’t call that much anyway. He didn’t when we lived at Uncle Kevin’s. Besides, if we stayed, then I wouldn’t have met Tony or have baseball. I’m glad we’re in California.”

  Relief swept through Katie, and she gave him a sad smile. It was good he seemed to have a firm grasp of Victor’s pattern of behavior, but it was unfortunate he had to figure it out through repeated negative experiences. Therapy had taught her not to make excuses for Victor, and during the first year of separation, she’d spent most of her time comforting Shawn when his father didn’t show up to school functions or cancelled fishing trips at the last moment. She was always worried about how the move had affected Shawn, but maybe it was a good thing they had relocated. With the distance, Shawn wouldn’t have to listen to broken promises every weekend.

  “I love you,” Katie told her son, taking him in her arms and giving him a tight squeeze.

  “I love you, too, Mommy.”

  Chapter 15

  Katie spent the week arranging the details for the end-of-season party with Gina, never making it to the bookstore like she had planned. Chase worked double shifts, so with Katie’s strained relationship with Liz, they both decided it would be best not to push her company on Liz.

  Katie missed Chase, but she knew the separation was for the best. The few encounters she had with Liz when she picked up Shawn were brief and distant, which didn’t make Katie optimistic about a resolution.

  The baseball season ended with a victory, and all the boys were excited for the playoffs. Katie sent Shawn home with Chase so she could get her errand done. She spent more than an hour in the bookstore, scanning through books and talking with employees about the best choices for an eleven-year-old girl. One hundred twenty dollars later, she walked out with books for all the kids and one special book that had been recommended for children trying to understand the death of a parent. Katie was excited, and a little apprehensive, when she arrived at Chase’s home.

  “Hello, beautiful,” he whispered into her ear when she stepped out of the car. She wrapped her arms around his waist. The familiar spicy scent of his cologne made her sigh.

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  “Perfect now.”

  He squeezed her hips, then turned back to the car and reached into the backseat for the bag of books.

  “What’s this?”

  “A few books I picked up for the kids.”

  Determination crossed his features. It was the look he always got before he pulled out his wallet. “How much did you spend?”

  Katie shook her head and snatched the bag out of his hand. “None of your business.” After giving this retort, she stomped up the stairs to his bedroom before he could argue with her.

  “Come on, Katie. Let me at least pay for half.”

  She pushed the door open to his room and set the books on the dresser. “No. If you pay for half, then they won’t be from me, and I want to give Tony and Liz something.”

  “We don’t have to tell them they’re from me. I just don’t want you spending money on my kids that I know you don’t have.”

  Katie turned around with a level look that indicated he was one step from crossing a line. He held up his hands in defense.

  “I know things are tight, and I thought—”

  “Well, stop thinking before you choke on your foot. Not that it matters, but I’m doing fine since I haven’t had to pay for after-school care, so the books are the least I could do.”

  Chase sighed and shook his head. “All right, I’m sorry.” He reached for her, and she didn’t put up much of a fight. Although Katie was still annoyed at his assumption and had considered making him grovel a bit, she couldn’t deny that she missed their intimacy as much as he did. The smell of his cologne hit her senses again, and it brought an instant switch in her mood. She went from irritated to considering whether she could lock the door and do naughty things to him. It had been weeks since they’d had a moment alone.

  Burying her nose in his neck, she inhaled. Chase’s hand slid into the neck of her shirt and pulled it down her shoulder while his lips followed the fabric when it slipped lower.

  “Where are the kids?” she whispered.

  “Gina is entertaining them.”

  His quick reply interrupted his attention for a moment, but he soon continued to lavish her skin with wet kisses. Katie hugged him closer, enjoying the moment of privacy. She rested her forehead on his shoulder while his hands slid up her sides.

  “We should go downstairs and help Gina with dinner,” Katie whispered.

  Chase groaned into her neck and shook his head. “Two more minutes.”

  She laughed before she placed a kiss on his Adam’s apple. “Later. We’ll get some time after dinner. I rented a couple of movies for the kids.” Katie went up on her toes and kissed him once more before taking his hand and pulling him toward the door.

  Gina tried out a new recipe for chicken parmesan while the boys chatted with Chase about the upcoming playoff games. Liz was pleasant, but it didn’t pass Katie’s notice that she avoided any conversation or topic that would require her to speak directly to Katie.

  “Liz,” Katie said, hoping to break the ice. “Today at the bookstore, I picked up some books I thought you might enjoy.” When she didn’t respond, Katie went on. “There are a few books I enjoyed when I was your age.”

  “Thanks.” Liz’s one word answer reverberated across the quiet dining room. She didn’t even look up from her plate in acknowledgment. Katie glanced at Chase, whose jaw was clenched, but he didn’t say anything. Both boys stopped talking to listen to the conversation, staring at Liz for her rudeness.

  “May I be excused?” Liz asked, never once looking at Katie.

  Chase gave her a curt nod, and she grabbed her plate and
took it to the kitchen. Katie felt Chase’s hand glide up her thigh and squeeze. She smiled at him, but she could tell he knew Liz’s lack of interest had bothered her. Katie shrugged it off. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

  After dinner, the boys went out to the patio while Chase and Katie cleared the dishes. They thanked Gina, shooing her away when she started to clean up.

  “I don’t understand how Gina can dirty every plate, bowl, and platter in the kitchen every time she cooks.” Chase made the same comment night after night, but Katie knew he enjoyed the evening ritual as much as she did. The first night he had pointed out the dishwasher, but Katie liked spending time talking with him while he dried and put away the dishes that she washed.

  “Stop whining and keep drying.”

  “I’m not whin—”

  A loud, high-pitched scream came from upstairs.

  “Get it out!” Liz’s annoyed voice floated downstairs.

  Chase rolled his eyes and put down the dishtowel. They next heard a loud cry that sounded like Shawn. Chase bolted from the room and flew up the stairs with Katie right on his heels. When they reached the second floor, they found Shawn doubled over in front of Liz’s room, a look of pure rage on his face. Chase went to Shawn and knelt down in front of him. He whispered to him before Shawn nodded, and Chase turned his piercing stare on his daughter.

  “Did you hit Shawn?” he asked, authority filling his voice.

  Katie stood there in shock, stunned that Liz would resort to physical violence against him. Liz’s chin jutted out, but she didn’t deny the accusation.

  “Did you hit Shawn?” Chase asked again, emphasizing each word. Liz’s lip quivered, but she still didn’t answer.

  “Are you okay?” Katie asked, not wanting to interrupt but needing to know that her son wasn’t badly hurt. Shawn nodded, then turned a wrathful stare at Liz.

  “She hit me because Tony and I brought Sammy to see her.”